DRIVE ME CRAZY

OK, maybe it's more of a short putt (possibly even a tap in or a "gimme*) but that's not my point. One thing (of many) that makes me nuts is this scenario. I'm driving down a city street trying to reach my destination quickly (I hate to be late) and efficiently (what with the price of gas, don't get me started.) The driver in front of me keeps tapping the car's brakes in a seemingly random fashion. And there is nobody close enough to the front of that car to suggest that this is being caused by an actual need to avoid contact. And the car to my front is going under the posted speed limit....by 5 mph or more. And I have to keep braking in order not to hit him. By now you probably have guessed the cause of this odd behavior........the idiot is busy talking on a cell phone. The most absurd case I have witnessed recently had the driver, deep into his very critical and important conversation, speeding up and slowing down in concert with the rush hour traffic in the adjacent lane, which at times came to a complete stop, while the lane in front was clear for over 10 car lengths. Then there was the guy driving along "two thumb" texting while "holding" the steering wheel at the top center with his 6 "unoccupied" fingers. As I passed him on the right I offerred him "one" of my fingers, but he didn't notice as he tapped away.

I guess I took driver's ed too long ago (and yes, we did have actual cars way back then) to realize that the preferred hand placement while actually driving had evolved from "9 and 3 o"clock" to "10 and 2 o'clock" and now to "one somewhere on the wheel if you're not smoking / eating / drinking / playing with the audio system (aka radio to us geezers) / playing "slap and tickle" with the passenger etc. and the other holding a phone to your ear. Sure, I've made and received calls when driving, but I try to keep them short and never accept / place calls those times when all my attention needs to be on the road. If you think you can multi task and not be distracted, think again. A recent study shows that just listening to a call adversely affects our attention to "the task at hand". I have less of a problem with phone use on the open (limited access) highway under light traffic conditions but even then it is distracting. (I have driven past exits that I take all the time while deeply engrossed in a conversation with someone in the car with me.) All I can say is (to reiterate a bumper sticker I've seen)...HANG UP AND DRIVE !!!!!!!

MOVIES

So today I went to see the movie "Iron Man", which was an ok action adventure cgi driven superhero flick (Is that even a genre, maybe a sub genre?). Anyway, I digress (get used to it, it happens a lot in my world.) My point is....the previews. Lots of movies, mostly goofy summer comedies starring people like Adam Sandler and / or Steve Carrell. Hidden among these forgettable cinematic treats was the trailer for the new Harrison Ford epic - "Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Lost Skull"(or something like that - the music was loud and the cuts were super fast, like watching a DVD on 60x fast forward). Now I will be the first to admit I paid to see the first 3 "IJ and..." movies in the theater, watched them on HBO and paid again for the DVDs. But I have to ask why #4? Yes, I know, I know it's all about the money. But beyond that, what is the point? The first 3 were ok entertinment but will never be listed in any 100 greatest list if moneymakers are ignored. Did Harrison need to show Calista thet he's a studly as 19 years ago? Did Spielberg think his special effects skills needed honing? Was the screenplay nearing its "sell by" date? Was the release timing set to miss a summer with yet another "Pirates" sequel? Now before you go crazy on me yes, I know "Spielberg's a genius and Ford's an icon". But how much genius does it take to go to the well once more and drag up a long dead body? (Don't get me started about F. F. Coppolla or the whole "Star Wars" thing!) And what kind of stretch does it take to portray the same iron jawed, resolute if reluctant hero (Indy, Jack Ryan,President Marshall)? He has done ( non - action) drama and comedy before and has even played some conflicted ("Blade Runner") or even unlikeable ("The Mosquito Coast") characters. But again this time it's the same old Indy, a little long in the tooth. paired with a young "flavor of the month" manly up and comer. There will be snakes , or scorpions, or rats, or monkey brains to make you go "eew!" There will be chases and plot twists and Commies (standing in for the Nazis). But 10 years from now I will defy you to tell me something about this movie that was that different from the first 3. In fact by then you will find it difficult to keep the 4 completely separate in you mind. (Were the monkey brains #1 or #2? Which one had the Nazi turn to dust instead of melting like the Wicked Witch?) It most likely is related to the company that I read about online in today's New York Times Magazine that buys the rights to dormant brand names (remember Brim coffee or Underalls pantyhose?) and creates a new (and different from the original) product with that name. Just use the name, retool the old familiar product and hope people remember just enough to buy it without asking what's inside. But never fear, the new movie will be appearring soon on 27 screens near to where you are, even if half the movies reviewed online or in the east and west coast papers never will.